Professor Prometheus Field Notes

Steam PunkStar Killer

Professor Prometheus insists the star-killing apparatus is brilliant, visionary, and proceeding according to plan. Cogsworth agrees enthusiastically. Ledger has calculated the odds and regrets to inform the reader that they are hilarious.

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Professor Prometheus, Cogsworth, and Ledger on a brass starship bridge near a glowing neutron star.

Entry No. 1472

The Unfortunate Incident of the Mechanical Goose

Professor Prometheus has often maintained that true progress requires bold experimentation. History, unfortunately, maintains that true progress requires considerably fewer explosions. This disagreement remains unresolved.

Meet the Cast

A genius, an assistant, and the machine keeping score

Professor Prometheus in a brass-trimmed coat on the starship bridge.

Professor Prometheus

Brilliant. Visionary. Possibly mad. Claims everything is proceeding according to plan, especially when the plan has just achieved independent flight.

Cogsworth and workshop mechanisms surrounded by sparks, gauges, and brass tools.

Cogsworth

An enthusiastic assistant, catastrophically unqualified. Believes steam engines move, geese move, and therefore the combination represents natural synergy.

Ledger, a brass-and-steel automaton with amber eyes.

Ledger

A brass-and-steel automaton and less-polite servant. "I have calculated your probability of success. I regret to inform you it is hilarious."

Comic Logs

Selected evidence from the catastrophe ledger

Professor Prometheus and Cogsworth deploying a brass invention toward a blazing neutron star.

The Mechanical Goose

Professor Prometheus: The matter began when my assistant insisted that a steam-powered goose would revolutionize transportation.

Cogsworth: It were a good idea, sir. Geese already move. Steam engines already move. Natural synergy.

Professor Prometheus: The machine travelled approximately twelve feet. It then achieved flight. This had not been part of the design.

Ledger: For historical accuracy, Professor, the design notes were written on a napkin. The napkin was on fire at the time.

Professor Prometheus, Cogsworth, and Ledger near glowing machinery as a patrol ship appears.

Ledger's Addendum

Professor Prometheus: The apparatus subsequently crossed three counties, terrified a bishop, disrupted a military parade, and was briefly elected mayor of a small village.

Cogsworth: People seemed to like it.

Ledger: To be fair, it displayed better judgment than the previous mayor.

Professor Prometheus: And this, dear reader, is why modern science is feared. Not because it is dangerous. But because occasionally it works.

Quarter Up

Proceed according to plan.

Aim the turret, harvest the stars, ignore Ledger's probability table, and help Professor Prometheus prove that disaster can be monetized.

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